ohhhh the anguish...

should i call John...? Should I? I think i should. Call the dive shop and say, 'hey what's up you arse.' or i could just ask him how it's going. argh i dunno. it's been playing on my mind for ages. and i should prolly just bite the bullet and call him. all that's going to happen is he'll hang up in my ear. Oh, i so need to get over him. lol.

Spent my spare time the last few days redesigning and making it all pretty.... you should really check it out now! hah!

Anyways, work is going really well, it's going to be a huge year, and i can't wait to get right in there.

I should really fuck-off-ski and go for a walk around the lake... and then pester Rob to take me for a drive! :)

Take care...
  • Current Music
    nowt.. silence


You a new hair cut really does wonders for a girls state of mind!
I got a new hair cut yesterday. It's all layered and thinned, so there's not masses and masses of hair to deal with. It's awesome. Like i'm shampooing someone else's hair in the shower.

And then to make things better, it's raining. Like really raining! yay!

Amyways... gonna dash and watch king kong.


New Year....!

I had a ball! :) Couldn't quite top last years effort, but it was fun all the same! :)

I spent most of yesterday pottering around getting stuff ready. I'm a typical over-packer and over-preparer so in true cara form, I over packer and over prepared!

Renee picked me up at about 6:30 and off we went on our adventure! The ride down was funny, I was suffering with the effects of my own company all day so I over compensated on Renee. Everything was a joke. Then we arrived in sunny WARM Port Fairy (after a rainy Hamilton day) and Mark & David helped set up the tent. Then I watched in amazement as Nathan co-ordinated all of the males in our group into cooking dinner. So we say and drank and then visited Rob & Andrea  and then headed down the street.... By this stage, I'd drank way too much too quickly! It's all a bit of a blur. Lot's of photo's were taken, so hopefully I'll steal them off Mark and post a link to them some time soon.

About 3am I crawled into bed and died. I don't think I moved until first signs of sunshine this morning. Ohhhh did I have on hell of a hangover. ergh. Spent most of the AM gingerly sipping water and lying in bed with Renee. Mark came and joined us for a while. Then we all wandered off down the warf for a spot of fishing. Saw a stingray AND a seal!!! It was cool. They were swimming right up close and showing off like circus animals!

After that it was pretty much hometime. Packed up everything and drove home. By now my second wind had worn out and i was feeling H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. and I had no one to blame except myself. And maybe the manufacturers of Pulse can's....

I collapsed on the couch after a dodgy ride home. Feel bad cos I could barely utter one word answers to renee. I was still feeling crap. THen I gave into my cravings and ordered a pizza. Something about greasy food makes hangovers alllllll better. After getting some food in me I feel MUCH better. And the improvement after a nice cool shower to sooothe the sunburn... NICE. I almost feel human!

It was a great night, I'm keep to go camping properly one day. It's not something I've done before, but i think it would be fun. :)

I guess the only thing that would have made the night better would have been if I could have cloned renee, so that she could spend time with her toy boy and me. typical jealous me. lol.

Back to reality and work tomorrow. YAY! :) keen to get back to work. keen for a cure to the boredom i've experienced over the last week!

Until next time.........
  • Current Music
    TV - House MD

Reflection Quiz

Ohh wow! Two posts in one day... that never happens anymore... let's see if I can update this thing a little more frequently this year...

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?

In 2006 I learnt how to stand up for myself a bit more, grow a bit of a backbone... and that's something I haven't done in a long time. Also I went to see the Wrestling in Melbourne, and that was awesome!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any for 06, but this year I have a couple.. they are:  
    * to get my license
    * do the "exercise thing" and lose some weight. Not much, just so i look a bit more toned
    * seriously look into the reality market for my own hotel.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yeah, Rikii my old next door neighbour had a little boy, as did Chandy. Daniel from Harvey's, wife had a beautiful baby girl, felicity, My cousin Nicole had a little girl, Amy, my aunty Kylie had a little boy, Jack, my cousin in QLD had a little girl, Montana and one of my best friend's Loopy also had a baby! WOW!!!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.. thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?
Lol none! Just several trips to Melbourne with John.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

Hmmm. This is a hard one, because up until September I was living the dream. I guess I'd like some more direction and confidence.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

17th June. I stayed at John's that night, and we had the best night playing Tank Wars on an ancient Amstrad. It was a cool, fun intimate night. I learnt more about him that night than many others spent with him.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I guess getting to the happy stage I am at with work at the Botanical. My job really couldn't be better. I love it. And I've gotten there from pure hard work and determination. :)

9. What was your biggest failure?
I guess, personally, my biggest failure is not being able to give John what he needed.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had the sniffles once or twice, and tonsilitis once, but other than that this has been my most illness-free year in a loooong time. I guess happiness has a part to play in that.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think there were a few things... materialistic things like my new phone and computer monitor.... but the best thing I think I bought was the WWF Raw tickets. That was the best weekend I've ever had, spent with my favourite person.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Umm I guess mine, I was a pretty good girl this year. I did things I never thought I would, and had a ball!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Well, the first person would be Ash's. For reason's I won't go into. The second person's would be John's. After spending the best year with each other, he come's back from Vanuatu and shuts me out completely. Cold as ice. Literally leaves me on the door step, and then isn't man enough to come around and collect his stuff or talk to me. Sad.

14. Where did most of your money go?
On John.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Ummmm New Years in Melbourne with Ash, John & the Crew.. Earth Core to see infected mushroom... and the wrestling as well!! Can't forget the wrestling!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Shaun Michaels Sexy Boy theme Entrance.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? happier with my job. sadder in all other respects.
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner!! lol
iii. richer or poorer? a little bit richer actually now my wages aren't being totally spent on John each week.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Spending time doing fun stuff with John

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

spending time by myself.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent Christmas day with my family. Helped dad cook the dinner for the whole family, and just had fun.... It was really good to spend quality time with my sis.

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
yeah, big time.

23. How many one-night stands?
none at all..

24. What was your favorite TV program?
i didn't really watch much TV... do wrestling DVD's count? Other than that, House MD.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
ummm yeah, Carly, my ex housemate. But that's a very strong word... so we'll go with "developed a strong sense of dislike"

26. What was the best book you read?
Umm the latest Harry Potter book!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

28. What did you want and get?

I wanted nice, sexy furniture, and I got that!

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
ARGH! Tooo many favourites.... we'll have to say that the cheesy Christmas movie Elf was never far from the DVD player.... any time of the year!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 23 and I spent it with family during the day, and friends in the evening. Me, Michael, Ben and Laura went out for tea at the Botanical then headed back to Michaels. I didn't see John, as he was in Vanuatu.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If John didn't leave me.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Ummmm lots of black & white at work (with the Botanical) but in play time, lot's of layering and dark colours... Bordering on "goth" a little.

34. What kept you sane?
Looking after John really! (but he was also the reason for my insanity)

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robbie Williams..... and Shaun Michaels!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Anything that came out of Steve Brack's mouth.

37. Who did you miss?

I miss John the most. I'm sounding like a broken record here... but when you live in someone's back pocket for a year, and then have them suddenly leave, it's a huge thing. :(

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Amelia, Tom and Sonia at the Botanical!!!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
The wold was on fire, noone could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna brake your heart
...with you

What a wicked game to play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing you do
To make me dream of you
 - HIM - foolish game
  • Current Music
    HIM - And love said no


You know, it's been a while since this whole me & john things turned to ruins. And I still think about it every day. And I hate that fact. I want to be strong and get over it. I want to become me again, instead of the girl that was half of Cara&John for so long. I hate the fact I came to rely on him so much.

And I miss him like fucking crazy. It was exactly today a year ago when he came wandering into my flat while I was having a shower and sat on the bar stools waiting patiently for me to finish and then ask me if I wanted to go to Portfairy with him for the day... so we jumped in the car and off we went and had a wicked day. :) Then it was a new years eve when I had the best time ever driving with him to Melbourne in 35 degree heat and then getting to the casino and sitting n the poker tables until God knows what hour. I fucking miss those times so much.

It was those times where I got to know him. And I started to fall for him. I fell hard too. And I denied it for the longest time. I guess I thought to myself that if I told myself I didn't care then I wouldn't and therefore when it all fell apart I wouldn't get hurt.

Boy was i wrong.

Now I feel so lonely and isolated. Like I can't talk to people about it, cos almost all of my friends warned me this would happen and don't even want to hear John's name mentioned. I don't want to be that girl winging over her ex boyfriend that hurt her.

But I don't know how to deal with it any more.

I need to see him, to talk to him. Give him his stuff back.

I don't know. I'm just not used to it hurting so much for so long. I just want it to get better.
  • Current Music
    viva la bam s2 e6

(no subject)

isn't it strange how the people you love the most and care the most for end up hurting you.
Thanks mate.
Thanks for hurting me.
Thank you for making me realise that i am better than that. I am better than you. I am better than how you would make me feel. I would give you everything. I GAVE you everything. I would do anything for you. I have done EVERYTHING for you. I treated you like a fucking King for the best part of a year. Sacrificed family relationships and friendships for you.I stood by you when no one else would. I listened when no one else would. I gave you the time of day when everyone else would have rather cut off their wrist that was wearing the watch. I gave you myself and actualy trusted you.
And you repay me by hiding me as tho i was a piece of dog shit on your shoe. Thanks for crushing me. leaving me a shell of a person who unwillingly would cry at the sheer mention of your name because of how deep you have cut me.
You repay me by lying about stupid things that don't even matter.
You repay me by lying about things that DO matter.
You repay me by belittling me at every opourtunity.
You repay me by being unfaithful.
You repay me by saying derogortory things about me to my friends and family.
You repay me by taking everything i've got and all my money and not even saying "thank you".
You repay me by sleeping with me and leaving me alone in bed, crying the night before you run off to "run" the "dive shop" you "bought" in Port MacDonnell. And then ignore me. And not take calls. Or answer texts.
So i'm guessing it's over since you are to cowardly and gutless to face up to those who care for you. You bail when things get too intense instead of answering up to them, and working through it. I know you were hurt before, who hasn't. That's no reason to ruin perhaps the best thing that's happened to you in 18 months. That's no reason to burn, again, the person who would give anything for you.
I'm sorry that i wasn't good enough "darl".
Sorry i'm not the trophy girl you obviously need on your arm to feel goog about yourself.
Sorry i cared.
Sorry i ioved.
Sorry i invested so much time and effort into you for you to throw back in my face.
Sorry i'm not sharna.
Sorry i accepted you for who you were and all your faults.
Sorry i didn't understand the stony silences and bad moods you put me through.
I can't deal with being ignored for no reason, especaily when everything was going so well.

I really hope you wake up to yourself before it's too late and you end up a sad lonely old man, because despite all the bad stuff you were my bestfriend. You were the person i gave a shit about most in the world. You were the one for me for the last year.

So now, the tears have stopped flowing so freely. I can say your name and think of you with out bawling or getting so angry i need to hit something. So now the hard part begins. The learning to move on by yourself. The learning to trust again. To love again. The learning to not be ashamed of who i am. I know who i am now. BETTER than YOU because i would NEVER treat another person, brother, sister, lover, enemy, friend, parent or co-worker the same way that you treated me. And, unilke you i have the best friends in the world, who would do anything for me, and care for me and love me for who i am, not what they think they want me to be. Something you HAD but because of your sheer arrogance, ignorance and inconsiderance you've lost it. OUR friends, you know the ones that you liked, and we'd play poker with, and hang out with, have lost all repect for you. Once again, no one has the time of day for you in this stupid town, and you know what, my watch is broken, and i haven't got it fixed. I don't know if i should.

But despite it all......

.......i still love you.
  • Current Music

(no subject)

Cross the ones that apply to you.....

( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love (ouch.. but so much fun!)
(X) Been dumped (hence the ouch part...)
( ) shoplifted
( ) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
(X) Made out with a stranger (waaaaaaay back, in my youth..)
(X) Done more with a stranger (once again, in my youth..)
( ) Had a crush on a teacher
( ) Seen someone die

(X) Been on a plane (up and back to bris-vegas)
(X) Met someone in person from internet (there was Matt H, Alex, Glenn M.....)
(X) Been moshing at a concert (does dancing to infected mushroom at earthcore count?)
(X) Been in an abusive relationship
(X) Love someone or miss someone right now (i miss a someone a lot right now.)
(X) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (back at school, we'd lie on the bench seats and spend entire lunch times day dreaming with the clouds..)
(X) Had a tea party (saturday afternoons at my nan and pops with Mel and Karen.... :))
(X) Flown a kite (when i was little in the front yard... and we kept getting it all caught up..)
(X) Built a sand castle (most recent time would be when i went to bridgewater with john.. i built sand castles and sand oscars while he was body boarding)
(X) Gone puddle jumping (way back when i was younger rememeber having to put rainbow coloured gumboots and a red rain jacket on..)
(X) Played dress up (used to be one of my favourtie games as a little kid... wasn't much i didn't dress up as)
(X) Jumped into a pile of leaves (after i'd just raked thim into a big pile at my nan and pops..)
( ) Gone sledding
(X) Cheated while playing a game (a little while ago while playing poker with Rob, Robbie, John, Simone, Camo and Xav... we rigged the deck in Rob's favour..)
(X) Been lonely (am right now)

( ) Fallen asleep at work/school
( ) Used a fake id
(X) Watched the sun set (numerous times... mainly when walking home..)
( ) Felt an earthquake
( ) Touched a snake
(X) Slept beneath the stars (camping out at the wannon with the pinky's crew. ahh memories.)
(X) Been tickled (who hasn't?)
(X) Been robbed (not like burgular robbed, but had stuff go missing that u know has been stolen.)
(X) Been misunderstood (this happens all the time, i think becuase when it comes to explaning my self about the important things, i get verbal constipation.)
( ) Patted a reindeer
(X) Won a contest (it was i beleive a writing contest back in high school.)
(X) Been in a car accident (in melbourne, with Ash.)
( ) Had braces

(X) Felt like an outcast (it's a stage i think everyone goes through, but as i've discovered, the majority of the time, it was just in my head.)
(X) Eaten a whole bucket of ice cream in one night (back in the day with Loopy.. oh how i miss loopy.)
(X) Had deja vu (all the time)
(X) Danced in the moonlight (there was that night out at Damo's house. So much fun.)
(X) Hated the way you look (happens most the time when i look in the mirror.)
( ) Witnessed a crime
( ) Pole danced
(X) Questioned your heart (why...?)
( ) Been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) Squished barefoot through the mud
(X) Been lost (feel like i am now.

( ) Been to the opposite side of the country
(X) Swum in the ocean (ages ago, not big on swimming now.)
(X) Felt like dying (sometimes, when everything just isn't going right....)
(X) Cried yourself to sleep (on several occasions. i like to pretend that nothing hurts me. but it does.)
(X) Played cops and robbers (lol just recently i wished that i could go back to the time, when friends would come round to play, and you'd spend hours hurling yourself around playing cops and robbers, and indians and cowboys, and power rangers and transformers....)
(X) Recently coloured with crayons/coloured pencils/markers (yeah, whilst designing my tattoo.)
( ) Sung karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (d'oh... i think this comes under the same heading as questioned your heart.)
(X) Made prank phone calls (hehe pranking car sales people.... hehe)
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (once again, back in the Loopy days..)
( ) Danced in the rain (no, but would love to)

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus (didn't every little kid?)
( ) Been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles (i've blown all sorts of bubbles... with bubble mixture, in lemonade, in milk.. u name it, i've done it)
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
(X) Crashed a party (there were a few parties i wasn't invited to but attended all the same...)
(X) Gone rollerskating (used to have the old scool sandal style roller skates, and the shoe ones... that used to be awesome fun.)
( ) Had a wish come true
( ) Humped a monkey
(X) Ate dog/cat food! (i thought it was lollies!)

( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them
(X) Kissed a mirror (i was imitating someone)
(X) Sang in the shower (this morning if you were in the shower with me you would have heard my rendition of Drive - Incubus, Live forever - Oasis & Rollercoaster - BLink182)
(X) Have a little black dress (it's got pink bits too, does that count?)
(X) Had a dream that you married someone (i had this dream once, that i married John Dixon, and we were living with adam. that was kinda cool.)
(X) Glued your hand to something (i've glued my hand.... to myself)
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(X) Kissed a fish (I kiss oscar through the glass, and he swims up and kisses me back)
(X) Worn the opposite sexes clothes (used to borrow Damo's Fox top, gotten around in a few of daves clothes when he left them at my place, and i didn't realise what i was wearing...
( ) Been a cheerleader

( ) Sat on a roof toop
( ) Screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel (no but tired to.... ouch)
( ) Talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(X) Stayed up all night (serveral times, used to be just so i could say, i stayed up all night, but then it happened a few times out at the shed with Damo and johnny, and then a few more times playing poker and the nintendo with John.)
( ) Didn't take a shower for a week
(X) Pick and ate an apple right off the tree (from the next dorrs neighbours tree no less)
(X) Climbed a tree (something i wish i could still do with out getting looked at like i'm strange)
(X) Had a tree house (are you kidding, me and rob used to have wicked tree houses, and tree space ships, tree cars and tree-labs)

(X) Are scared to watch scary movies alone (i'm chicken!!!! but like being scared.)
(X) Believe in ghosts (hmmm yeah)
( ) Have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) Worn a really ugly outfit just to see what others say
( ) Gone streaking
( ) Played ding-dong-ditch
( ) Played chicken
( ) Got pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) Broken a bone
(X) Been easily amused (if i'm in the right mood, i'm always easily amused.)

( ) Caught a fish then ate it
(X) watched porn (serveral times.... it's a thing u've got to expect, hanging around males.)
(X) Caught a butterfly (in my younger days, wouldn't do it now tho.)
(X) Laughed so hard you cried (serveral times at mum and dad's when elise is being a fool)
( ) Cried so hard you laughed
( ) Mooned/flashed someone
(X) Had someone moon/flash you (when u hang around as many boys as i do, it's inevitable)
( ) Cheated on a test
(X) Had a Britney Spears CD (technically it was rob's but i taxed it off him.)

(X) Forgotten someone's name (i'm usually not good with peoples names.)
(X) Slept naked (all the time, usually cos i can't be bothered getting into my jama's)
(X) French braided someones hair (elises...)
( ) Gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) Been kicked out of your house
( ) Gone and hugged the wrong person
( ) Bothered to do this more than once

can't b bothered emailing so....

Rough Sex

A hug leads to a kiss...a kiss leads 2 a finger...a finger leads to
a a hand...a hand leads to a lick...a lick leads to a suck...a suck
leads 2 a fuck. So tell me how many people are you gonna hug after
you heard this cuz sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the
clothes...divide the legs...leave your solution...and pray you dont
Send this right after u read it, something good will happen at 2:25
tomorrow. Get ready for the biggest shock in your life!!
Whoever breaks this chain will be cursed w/ relationship problems
4-10 years.
If you send this in 15 mins. your
safe. Something good will happen tonight at 11:11pm.
This is not a joke...someone will either call you or will talk to
you online.

Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and
it whitens your teeth

Having nice sex burnes 358 calories.

Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Sex on the beach

Take off her clothes with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal
Undress Me
Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot
......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal

Real................................112 cal
Faking................................315 cal

After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal


Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218cal
Heard her dad/2 yr old baby sista at the door.............1942 cal



taxed fomr cody and andrew

I see: my flat in need of a bit of a tidy up. damn poker nights that run into the wee hours of the morning *cough* 7am *cough*
I need: a hair cut. it's too hot to have overly long hair.
I find: things in weird places... i'm the typical person to; just like the old cliche pick up the TV remote and leave it somewhere stupid like in the bathroom after i've been distracted.
I wish: that i could go back in time and change something.
I love: not many.
I hate: spiders. eek
I miss: Dave and Renee and the hard core pinky's days with damo and mouse and cal and steph and rocket and JC pre drugs.
I fear: being left alone by those i do actually care for.
I feel: a little bit tired today.
I hear: atomic betty on TV
I smell: nothing. the air in my flat is strangely neutral.
I crave: i'm craving two things, sex and my special seeded mustard and bacon pasta.
I search: for someone to cuddle when ever i feel like it.
I wonder: if everything is pre-destined and happens for a reason?
I regret: one or two things.. but i can't change them now.

When was the last time I ...
Smiled?: erm... today when my GRANDMA sent me a message telling me the boy who sold her her computer at work is a bit of a dish and dazzled her... hehehe norty nan!
Laughed?: i've giggled a little over the last few days, but my last proper belly laugh was during coffee with renee yesterday.
Cried?: doing pretty well, haven't had a decent cry since.... mid October when i had tonsilitis and felt like absolute shit while i was stil at gilly's and Af asked me if i was ok... :(
Bought: Today.. xmas shopping!
Danced?: Errrm probably yesterday evening i was dancing around the flat to Gatecrasher Red
Was sarcastic?: about 2 hours ago answering a question ash asked me.
Kissed someone?: Not last saturday, the saturday before that... hehehe
Talked to an ex?: Monday i believe...
Watched your favorite movie?: i don't actually have a favourite right at this present moment

What was the...
Last book you read?: I beleive it was a re-read of Harry Potter and the goblet of fire in preparation to seeing the movie
Last movie you saw?: Bloody stupid Night of the Living Dead with John last Thursday... it wasn't the zombie movie we were thinking of..
Last song you heard?: Technologic while ash was tuning a stero..
Last thing you had to drink?: Orange Powerade actually
Last time you showered?: About 11:45 this morning..
Last thing you ate?: Some Cashews from Peach's Fruit market.

Do you...
Smoke?: Nope
Do drugs?: When they are avaliable
Sleep with stuffed animals?: Yeah, i have a stuffed bulldog with an oversized head and a cat dog puppet that share my bed with me
Live in the moment?: I try too. but i think i focus on the past a bit too much sometimes
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Well, not technically. I have dreams that run along the same theme... lately i've been up the duff
Play an instrument?: The Cello and a little keyboard
Remember your first love?: Yeah, i do.
Still love him/her?: Yeah.. but i wouldn't go back.
Read the newspaper?: Yeah, when i'm at work or at mum & dads. i don't buy it.
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: I think i know some gay people.
Believe in miracles?: that i do.
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: yeah, i do
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: **i have to agree with Cody's answer here** Yes, unless people piss me off or I have to be too friggin' patient with them.
Consider love a mistake?: No, because at the time, you thought it was right.
Like the taste of alcohol?: Hmmmmmmm yeah!
Have a favorite candy?: Anything starburst is pretty good.
Believe in astrology?: A little yes.
Believe in magic?: To a degree
Believe in God?: Yes, I do.
Pray?: Yes
Go to church?: Haven't in a long time. i should go more.
Have any secrets?: Of course i do.
Have any pets?: I'm still Oscar's Carer.
Go to or plan to go to college?: Lol. Maybe one day
Talk to random IM people?: Nope..
Wear hats?: I wear John's Hat sometimes.
Have any piercings?: Just my ears
Have any tattoos?: Not yet. Very early into the new year i'll be heading to Ballarat to get my forst tat.
Collect anything?: Not really no.
Have a best friend?: Nah.. lot's of good mates. No one at the mo is my "best freind"
Wish on stars?: I sure do.

* spell your name backwards: Arac
* have you ever had a song written about you: not to my knowledge
* height: 178ish
* hair color: Light brown, dark brown and blonde.

* piercings: just my ears
* tattoos: not yet. I'm going to get a Bass Clef on my left ankle with the words con grazia underneath, and then in the small/middle of my back i'm going to get a pheonix

Right Now . . .
* what color pants are you wearing: a camo coloured G
* what song are you listening to: no music, just the TV
* what taste is in your mouth?: Cashew nuts
* whats the weather like?: Awesome. it's about 30 with a slightly cool breeze
* how are you?: Ok. a bit hungry
* get motion sickness?: nah not really anymore. used to when i was younger
* have a bad habit?: caring too much. ha ha
* get along with your parents?: yeah i do actually.
* boyfriend/girlfriend: No.............................. ;)
* have a current crush: crush is so high school. i fancy a few people
* have a big regret: yeah, one or two

Favorite . . .
* tv shows: hmmm i try and watch the Simpsons and House.
* conditioner: Tre Semme for colour treated hair
* book: any harry potter
* non alchohol drink: Brew. It's even quantities of milo & hot chocolate
* alchohol drink: Black Sambucca
* things to do on the weekend: Blow stuff Up, play poker and mario kart, and drink.

Have You Ever . . .
* broken the law: Yeah quite a bit really
* ran away from home: nah, not serisiouly.
* snuck out of the house: Back before i moved out of mum & dads, i used to have to sneak out ALL the time to go and rendevous with Dave... nearly got caught once. i got home just as mum was leaving for work early one thursday morning.....
* ever gone skinny dipping: No, would like to tho,
* made a prank phone call: Yeah, course i have,
* tipped over a portapotty: nope
* use your parents credit card: and another nope
* skipped school before: Yeah, but i kinda had a teachers permission....
* fell asleep in the shower/bath: Nah. Passed out in the shower the day after the anesetic from when i was in geelong for the angiogram and TOE
* been in a school play: Yep, Two. Pirates of Penzance and The Mikado
* had a boyfriend/girlfriend: yep
* had children: heh nope
* been in love: Yes :)
* have a hard time getting over someone: Just like everyone, that's a yes.
* been hurt?: Yeah. It's probably why i am the way i am now.
* gone out with someone you only knew for 3 days: not gone out with... played with yes.

Random . . .
* have a job: Yep, i'm a cashier at Harvey Norman
* your cd player has what in it right now: Gatecrasher Red CD1
* if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: Blue. a very piercing blue

When/What Was the Last . . .
* you got a real letter: This time last year i think
* got an email: Today
* thing you purchased: A bottle of powerade and some cashews from Peach's Fruit Market
* movie you saw in the theaters: Um. AvP last year....
* kissed: Not last saturday, the saturday before....
* hugged: Yesterday i gave jules a big cuddle
* song heard: A Christmas Carol on the ABC
* place you were [ besides home ]: At ash's workshop.
* phonecall: John yesterday about a poker game that night
* you were depressed: Haven't really gotten over geelong have i?
* you were in the hospital: Stay in Hospital - Geelong in August, Visit to a hospital - October to the clinic afterh hours to be told that i have tonsilitis again

When/What Comes to Mind When You Hear . . .
* car: still not finished yet
* murder: karly's gold fish
* cape: batman
* penis: yes please
* cell: Bell
* shoe: My black work ones
* fun: John
* crush: ed ice
* music: Bass
  • Current Mood
    okay okay


long time no entry... lot's has changed..

i now work at Harvey Norman as a cashier.. it's fun and a hell of a lot less streeful than working at Gilly's.. so that's good.

not much else has been happening, little bits and pieces of not much. been burning the candle at both ends.... tues night was up till 3:30am playing 007 on the old n64 with John & Rob.. and then wed up till 4:30am working on John's stereo with John & Ash, up at 8:30 next morn for staff meeting.. then more bond last night with John, and then blowing up rockets with John & Brother and Ash tonight... hmmmm

will update in more depth when i'm more awake. :)